Sometimes it hurts
by ToxThexMoonxAndxBack
Summary: Sometimes in life it hurts. After the death of her sister Kate is confused, she had spent all that time worrying about her then suddenly she's gone. Feeling guilt that she should've helped her she turns to someone who just might help her. However unlikely. Kate/Jake (please let me know if I should write more of this x)
1. Sometimes it hurts

**AN; I had it all planned that i was meant to be writing this week and then what happens? Mum slips a disk in her back so I've been doing EVERYTHING on my own getting stressed up and what have ya (punched a wall in my angry state) and the only thing keeping me sanseish is reading on here (if you want to make a girl happy please post some Law and order FF) so anyway shes better now which means i can get back to what i was meant to be doing lol thanks for reading. Not sure where this came from but my friend UntoldStories (who i watched Woman in Black with earlier random) suggested I write about Kate's family and stuff so yeah here it is xxx**

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There weren't maybe people at her sister's funeral, not maybe people knew or even cared Beth had ever been alive. Kate stood beside her sister's grave, she looked down as they lowered the coffin, this was wrong. Beth had been thirty five when she died, she was seven years older than Kate but Kate had always been the wiser one believe it or not. Beth had died of an overdose...before Kate could have helped her. It broke Kate's heart. She wished that she could've have done something, helped Beth get clean but she found her too late. She guessed that Beth just never got over losing her daughter.

Kate said her final goodbye to Beth before leaving, she couldn't really take it much longer, and she wanted to clear her head. She had just taken the day off and not really told Henry why, she hadn't even told Jake she had a sister yet, it wasn't something she could just bring into conversation.

She still had tears in her eyes from everything that had happened. She saw her parents slowly cross the road to their car. God knows what her mother had said to her father to get him to come. She hadn't spoken to her parents since she was eighteen; hadn't even spoken to them at the funeral. Suddenly a hand slipped into her arm, her Nan, there for her as always.

"You ok, Kathy?" She asked, knowing full well she wasn't.

"Fine…" Kate lied trying to ignore the fact her Nan still insisted on calling her Kathy.

"You couldn't have done anything, luv…" The old and wise woman said softly as her and Kate crossed the road together.

"I know I know…"Kate nodded. "But it still…I still feel like I…I should've got…"

"Hey now, when Beth took drugs you tried to help her, even though you were just a kid yourself. When your old dad kicked her out, you still tried to help her but she didn't want it. You couldn't have done any more for her than you did and what you did was more than anyone else would." She rubbed her granddaughters arm. "When you came to live with me when you were a teenager I knew you were a headstrong girl with so much ahead of her…"

Kate laughed slightly as her Nan went on. "Do you remember what I said to you?"

"You told me to always think for myself, to follow the mind that helped me escape because there was nothing holding me back."

"It was Beth's addiction, your worry about her that stopped you from following that." She paused. "Beth's gone now baby girl, and we both know that in the end, she didn't care what happened to her, or you."

"I needed her so much when I was little…till she…" She didn't need to finish that sentence.

"You're all grown up now though, Kathy." Her Nan stood still putting her hand on Kate's cheek. "Still with so much ahead of you, you don't need Beth, but…" She laughed. "You do need someone."

"I've got you." Kate smiled.

"I won't live forever kid." She said as they started walking again. "I don't want to see you going it alone, not after everything. Promise you'll look after yourself."

"Cross my heart…" she hugged the older woman. "And hope to die in a cellar full of rats."

"Rats?"

"Long story." She laughed; something from her and Jake's conversation a few days beforehand.

Thinking of Jake she hadn't even told him she was having the day off...would he mind? Probably not, it meant that he wouldn't have her annoying him for a whole day. It was getting dark by the time she got her Nan home, after saying goodbye she stood on the pavement thinking what to do next. She should go home, but she didn't feel like that yet. She looked at her phone for the time and discovered she had one new message from Jake.

'Dare I ask were you've been today?'

She rolled her eyes, same old Jake.

'Funeral.'

'Oh, anyone close? If you don't mind my asking.'

It was kind of odd him sounding polite through text and she didn't know what to reply. She would have to tell him at some point, maybe tonight was the right time.

'My sister, it's a long story...'

'Come round...'

He was willing to listen to her? Was she ready to tell him everything? If she started would she be able to even stop herself. She like Jake he was her friend, she could trust him, but what would he think about her if she told him the truth.

Well he'd offered now and she didn't really have much choice, at least it meant she didn't have to go home. She liked her place of cause but it was too quiet, too much for one person. She knew that after the day she had just had being alone would only make her more upset than she already was.

Jake didn't live that far from her so it would be easy enough to walk home when he got bored of listening to her.

She knocked on his front door and waited for him to answer. She was still shaking a little at the thought of what she was about to tell him.

"Hey…" He answered the door not looking the smart dressed man she usually saw.

"Hey…" She replied with a weak and obviously fake smile.

"Come in…" he said moving to let her past and she joined him standing in the hall way. He could see there was something wrong, he knew she'd come to tell him about her sister but there was something else, she seemed hesitant and it worried him. He put his hand on her arm for a moment so he could get to look at her "Tell me…"

She could feel her eyes burning, the tears she'd pretty much held back all day trying to be strong suddenly welled in her eyes. She couldn't fight anymore. She broke and started crying, he pulled her too him gently stroking her back with one hand and her hair with the other. If this situation had been when they were at work in the office it would have seemed awkward or wrong but where they were now it seemed right.

Jake and Kate argued sometimes but that was their thing, it what's made the partnership work. As they stood their Kate seemed different, mainly the fact that the Kate he knew and worked with on the daily basis would have clobbered him by this point and she just seemed younger. She was normally the tough talking, my way or the high way one of them and now she just seemed to be as scared and upset as a child, which was odd as there wasn't that much of an age gap between them.

She managed to calm herself slightly before pushing herself slowly away from him "Sorry…" she mumbled wiping her eyes.

"It's ok…" He nodded; she didn't have to be sorry about anything. "What happened to your sister? Talk to me."

Kate looked down at the ground before looking back up at him. She blinked once before taking a deep breath and swallowing, maybe this hadn't been a good idea…

"She erm…died from…a drug overdose…" She managed to say barley being able to maintain the eye contact between them. They were still stood in the hall way so they were still stood close together.

"I'm sorry…" He said softly his hand was still on her arm and he rubbed it slightly with his thumb.

Jake and Kate had never been this close before, they always fought over something that was completely pointless and stayed angry at each other till one of them apologised. Kate wasn't sure how she felt about this new found closeness between them but at that moment she was in no hurry to move away from him.

"It's ok…" She mumbled. "But I…I just feel like…like it's my fault…"

He moved his hand form his arm to her face so she would look him back in the eye "What do you mean?"

They went through to living room and they sat beside each other on the sofa and Kate began her story…how her sister had taken a drug overdose before Kate could've helped her.

"You never told me…" Jake said gently when she finished.

"I know…I guess I was just worried what you'd say…what you'd think…" She swallowed. "My Dad always judged me over what Beth did…I was disowned by him…I just…"

He shook his head "Kate I'd never judge you…I don't know what happened when you were younger, I don't know what happened between you and your dad, but you're still the crazy…frustrating, beautiful, amazing if slightly annoying person I knew before…"

She laughed slightly "thanks."

He smirked "made you laugh."

She put her arms around him hugging him and he smiled holding her in his arms. This would probably never be talked about because he knew how bad she would feel about breaking down in front of him.

She buried her head in his neck feeling for the first time since she was a teenager that she was wanted, that she fitted in. Pulling back from each other slightly Jake put his hand to her face. "You ok?"

"Sometimes it hurts…" She replied "But yeah…I'm ok now…" Her Nan had been right, she did need someone, someone to stop her getting angry at the world, someone who would make her laugh. She hadn't realised till now that Jake already did all that. Granted he was the focus point of her anger some days but that was just because he was Jake. She lent forward kissing his cheek. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Just being you…" she smiled tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Not the usual reaction I get…" He smirked. "Normally it's a slap."

She laughed rolling her eyes, sometimes it would hurt. But she had her friends, she had Jake, she had her Nan. Everything will be alright she told herself. Even if some days she didn't believe it.

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**An: Went a bit weird nearer the end sorry lol x**


	2. We ignore what we can't understand

**AN: Thanks for reading, reviews loved x**

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Jake opened his eyes, in the time it took them to adjust to the dark he realised he was laid on the sofa. There was a light weight on his chest and he looked down to see Kate. How had they ended up like this? He remembered her coming round after her sister's funeral, and he remembered her being upset. He didn't though remember the two of them falling asleep on the sofa together. He noticed he had his arms around her, this situation was what, intimate? He wasn't sure of anything anymore, especially anything about Kate. He didn't want to wake her; god knows she could do with the rest. She seemed peaceful like all her pain was gone, if only for the time she was sleeping. He wasn't about to take that from her. It had nothing to do with the fact he liked the feeling of her head against his chest at all.

His eyelids felt heavy, he was tired too. He closed them again gently rubbing her arm as he gently kissed the top of her head before going back to sleep.

XxX

He woke up the next morning smelling coffee, knowing it didn't make itself he opened his eyes as Kate sat a mug on the coffee table in front of him. She saw he was awake and gave a small smile. "Thought I'd made it before I disappear…" he smiled back. "I promised my Nan I'd go and see her before work."

"You ok?" He asked sitting up, she defiantly seemed to be more like her old self.

She nodded. "Thanks again." She bit her lip before putting her coat on. "Bye..." she put her hand on his shoulder for a brief moment before disappearing out the door.

XxX

Once outside she hoped the fresh air would clear her head. She had woken up on the sofa with Jake with no idea how they'd gone from talking to sleeping…

Being honest (which her Nan had taught her to always be) she hadn't wanted to get up. She had felt what? Happy? Safe? When she was with Jake and now she was walking the streets of London at seven o'clock in the bloody morning not entirely sure on her next move. _'Ok. Home, Nan's then work' _she decided in her head taking the right turn to go home.

Once home she showered and changed into her usual attire of skirt and blouse rather than the black dress she'd worn the day before to Beth's funeral.

"Nan!" She called walking through the door of the old woman's house.

"Don't you ever knock?" Her Nan laughed from the living room pausing '_the chase'_ as her granddaughter walked in.

"I have a key." Kate smirked sitting down on the sofa, resting her head against her hand as her leant on the arm rest... "Why do you watch that program anyway?" She questioned looking at the TV.

"It's interesting." She shrugged, "any way, the presenters a laugh."

Kate smiled "if ya say so Nanna."

"Where did you go last night anyway?"

Kate's head snapped up to look at her Nan confused, "huh?"

"I rang the house phone to check you were ok and you didn't answer…" She replied.

"I erm…went to see a friend." Kate replied not wanting to give her Nan the wrong idea about where happened also not wanting to have to tell her she went to Jake for comfort rather than her.

"That partner of yours? What's his name? Jake?"

"Mmm." Kate nodded standing up. "Well I best be off otherwise my boss will be calling a truant officer."

"Avoiding the conversation very you, Kathy."

"I'm going." Kate said in a sing-song voice walking out of the door shaking her head. _'Good escape, Kate' _she thought to herself as she shut the gate behind her.

XxX

Jake was in first, he always was. The office was silent when there was just him. He was all for peace and quiet but the silence before Kate arrived annoyed him immensely. In attempt to distract himself from thoughts of his friend he began looking through the case Henry had given him the day before. There wasn't much information on it yet and both he and Kate would have to go and speak to the suspect with the police later but until she arrived he just had a few crime scene photos and what background information on the victim and suspect. After starting at the pictures for so long his vision went blank he ran a hand over his face rubbing his eyes before the door to the office opened and Kate walked in.

"Hey…" She said hanging her coat up before sitting down at her desk seeing the file. "New case?"

"Mmhm." He nodded getting up and walking over to her desk. "Ronnie says they are positive about the man they've arrested but want us to go and check to see if they have got enough for prosecution later."

He explained the case to her and they went over the background information and the crime scene pictures. She took it all in imputing different suggestions on what she thought the outcome would be should they push murder or premeditated and what the defense would say or try and throw at them in court. Again being honest her mind wasn't always focused on the case, she was still thinking about what happened. The night before she'd only gone to Jake's because well he'd asked her to come round and god only knows she needed someone to talk to. She hadn't expected him to understand or be interested let alone for him to comfort her. She definitely hadn't expected to wake up in his arms on the sofa!

"We best be going or Wes will be on at us…" She said checking the time on her phone.

Looking at his watch not to make it obvious he knew she was just looking for another distraction he agreed and the two got their stuff and left. Silence once again being resumed.


	3. Thanks for bothering

**AN: not overly happy with this chapter because I'm trying to aim for a thousand words per chapter but this is only like 800... New series starting next month! I am so happy right now :) The one thing that would make this a real ****_zippity do da _****kind of day was if someone else wrote a Kate/Jake fanfiction ****_hint hint _****lol.**

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"Well you've got enough; it's just a question on what he's going to plead and what his brief goes with." Kate said as her and Jake stood with Ronnie in the observation room.

"Jury'll never believe he's innocent surely?" Ronnie sighed. He hated to admit it but of cause she was right.

"If he pleads self-defence you could be looking that way." Jake nodded, Kate's background as a defence barrister came in handy.

Kate didn't say anything for second, seeing the cases from this angle made her wonder how she could have been a defence barrister. Maybe that's why she changed sides, because she felt guilty. If she won a normal always guilty person walked the streets. Now, if they lost the guilty person would walk; couldn't really win either way.

She ran a hand over her face, she was tired. A case was the last thing she wanted right now. She had too much on her mind to be dealing with some trigger happy psycho. She knew she probably should've taken personal time off after she found out Beth had died but she hadn't wanted anyone to know about it, especially Jake. Henry was wary of her since the Pendle case but that wasn't what worried her, she just hadn't wanted Jake to know just how screwed up of a childhood she'd had. She hadn't expected him to be as understanding or as kind as he was. As she'd sat in his living room the night before she'd felt something change in them both…Snapping back to reality she continued with the case at hand. Not noticing the worried look from Jake.

XxX

An hour or so later Kate left, needing the fresh air. She leant against the wall of the bridge looking down to river then looking straight forward wondering what to do next. A lot of thoughts were running through her mind, most of them always connecting back to Jake. Why? Why was he in her head? It wasn't that she didn't like him she did, she was just confused. When the two had started working together she'd made a mental note that she'd never get close to him, he didn't even like her so she wasn't going to like him. Only she'd blown that one to pieces hadn't she?! There was something different between her and Jake, there had been for a while now. What was it? What even were they? Partners? Friends? More than that…? Suddenly smashing her head against the brick wall to knock some sense into herself seemed an idea.

"I'm looking for a friend of mine." A voice pulled her out of her day dream. "A pretty blonde woman who's had it rough lately but still thinks she can take on the world blind folded." She laughed slightly as Jake stood beside her. "I heard she needs either coffee or her friend..."

She smiled turning slightly so she could face him. "Can't she have both?"

He laughed "If she wants…" he handed her her coffee before they both went back to leaning against the wall. "Why do we always end up here?" He asked after a few minutes of silence referring back to the time after the Moran case when he'd gone walk about and she'd come looking for him.

"For the view?" She said sarcastically.

"Nice, cold view…" He noted on the fact it was February and both of them were wearing thin jackets. He held his coffee more warming his hand.

She rolled her eyes at him looking down. He watched her take a sip of her coffee, something was bothering her. He knew she must still be thinking about her sister, you don't get over anything that quickly. "Maybe it's just our place?"

Their eyes met not realising how closely they were stood together. "Maybe." Jake said still holding her gaze. She said nothing; she smiled at the ground breaking the eye contact they'd had for the past few minutes. She bit her lip, an annoying habit she would have to stop, before looking back up at him. It was only then that either really noticed the height difference between them, whilst she found it irritating it made him smirk. It was one of those moments between them that they both wanted to remember. Both feeling something, not knowing what it was but not ready to do anything about it.

In a space of less than twenty four hours they'd gotten closer, but neither knew what to think about it. Things were moving fast, almost too fast. Kate had never been close to anyone, she breathed in. As much as wanted to stay in this _'moment'_ between them she knew she had to break it because she didn't know what was going to happen next.

"Back to work?" She suggested.

Slightly disappointed but hiding it well Jake nodded. "Back to work."

The two turned and were about to cross the road when Kate put her hand on his shoulder. "Hey Jake…" she spoke softly.

"What?"

"Thanks for bothering."


	4. What you're fighting for

**AN: First day back at school, ugh. Sorry if this is rubbish.**

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Had something been about to happen between them? The thought was running through his mind as they crossed the road to the office. Something _had_ been about to happen but she'd stopped it from happening. Had he been about to kiss her? Why had been disappointed when it didn't happen…? Kate was just his friend right? Ok. Who was he trying to kid? When he'd woke up in the middle of the night to find her asleep on his chest he'd not woken her up because he hadn't wanted to let go. The feeling of knowing she was safe, seeing she wasn't hurting, that even for the short of time she was in his arms she was ok…he hadn't wanted to lose that. He wasn't even sure on when he started feeling like this towards her. When she'd first joined the CPS she was the most frustrating person he'd ever met!

XxX

When Jake arrived at work the next day he was able to hear shouting from the end of the corridor. Realising the shouting was coming from his and Kate's office he approached confused. Walking through the door he found Kate and Henry arguing, Kate was angry and she had tears streaming down her face.

"Katherine would you…" Henry tried to say but Kate shook her head.

"Don't." She warned. "You'd clearly all be better off without me. I quit!" She exclaimed knocking everything off her desk before storming past Jake out of the office.

He looked over at Henry "What did you say to her?"

"She said she wanted to be taken off the case, that she needed time off. I asked her why and she just said personal reasons. I asked what could make her unable to work this case, it's not exactly complicated…"

"You idiot." Jake shook his head. "Her sister's funeral was two days ago."

Jake turned going to find Kate leaving Henry stood alone in their office, feeling bad at everything he'd said to the younger prosecutor.

XxX

Tears streaming her face and her blood boiling, Kate wasn't entirely sure on what she was doing. She barely noticed Ronnie who was walking towards her concerned.

"Kate, are you ok?" He asked and he went to put his hand on her arm but she dodged him walking out.

She knew she'd flipped. She knew she'd overreacted but she'd been keeping so much inside for so long, she hadn't even told Jake everything. There was so much she wanted to forget; those times where no one was listening. She couldn't tell Henry about Beth, he wouldn't understand. Not looking where she was going she walked straight into the middle of the road, not seeing the oncoming car.

An arm was suddenly around her stomach pulling her back to the pavement. She screamed.

"Kate it's ok. It's ok." She heard Jake's voice. He was still holding onto her tightly. "Kate?"

She closed her eyes trying to get her breath back. Falling apart in front of him was becoming a regular occurrence. Putting his arm around her he lead her away from the CPS building hoping to be able to calm her down.

XxX

It had taken a few minutes but Kate had managed to pull herself together for the what, third time in 72 hours?

"I just flipped I guess…" She told him. "I knew I had to get out, that I couldn't work the case…"

"But you didn't want to tell him about your sister." He understood.

"Yeah…" She nodded. "God I screwed up there." She ran her hand through her hair.

He put his hand comfortingly on her arm and she breathed in hoping she was done with crying.

"Kate, look at me…" He started having to put his hand on her cheek for her to make eye contact with him. "Holding it in is just going to make it worse, talk to me…"

"I can't…I don't know what do anymore…" She blinked, "Before at least I knew Beth was still alive. Now she's gone. What am I fighting for?"

He gave her a small comforting smile stroking her cheek slightly with his thumb. "You're fighting for yourself. Just stop for one second worrying about the people who don't give a damn about you and think about yourself. You're a strong person, Kate, but you're still human."

She laughed slightly looking down before back at him. "So what do I do?"

"You carry on. Remember what you said to me? Sometimes it hurts? Sometimes it will. Sometimes all those things you want to forget but can't will play on your mind, but they will as long as you keep them to yourself. You have to move past that…that's what you're fighting for."

She smiled, he was right of cause. Why was it so annoying that he was right? He still had his hand on her cheek he for a brief second looked at before looking back at him. He noticed her eyes flicker and was about to withdraw his hand but she stopped him by placing her hand over his. Searching her eyes he could see she wasn't stopping him. Kate had made up her mind, last time she'd run away, but she didn't want to run anymore.

Bending his head slightly he brought her closer to him kissing her softly.

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**AN: A bit rushed but I had a hard time writing this chapter and just wanted to move on x Please let me know what you think.**


	5. Deja vu

**AN: Sorry again. This is a short chapter today because like ugh I'm finding it hard and schools just being annoying as hell. It's my friends birthday in a few days and I'm making her this video with all photos of us and the things we've done and what have ya and that's taking forever! Anyway, here's today's chapter. dunno if they'll be one tomorrow probably Thursday. Please review xxx**

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They pulled back slightly but were still close together. He smiled at her, his hand still on her cheek. "Shall we go and get your job back?"

She laughed "I suppose." She was not looking forward to this conversation with Henry at all.

They held each others gaze for a minute or so before he dropped his hand form her cheek but instead put his arm around her as they began the lengthy walk back to the office.

XxX

Henry was stood in their office when they arrived back. "Kate, I am sorry…" he started, both barristers shocked that _Henry_ was both calling her Kate and apologising.

"Sorry I overreacted…" Kate spoke begrudgingly under Jake's watchful eye.

Henry soon disappeared back into his own office as Jake helped Kate pick up all the stuff she'd knocked off her desk. Including the photo of her sister, the glass now smashed. Kate sighed running a hand through her hair as Jake took the photo out of the frame handing it to her.

"Thanks…" She smiled slightly.

The sorted out all of the files that had gone flying and put them back on her desk.

"You do know how to make an exit." He joked and she rolled her eyes.

"My Nanna always said I could be an actress…" She laughed.

"You've been acting the part of a lawyer for six years."

She playfully slapped his chest pretending to take offence. "Says him."

He laughed placing his hand on her hip "I don't think we'll be needed around for the rest of the day."

She smirked. "After my stunt, I don't think so either."

"Drink?" He suggested noting the time.

"You're paying."

"Fine."

The two then left, Henry once again confused to where the two barristers were going.

XxX

Awaking in the middle of the night Jake opened his eyes. A strange sense of _de ja vu_…looking down he saw Kate once again asleep on her chest. Only this time they were in bed rather on the sofa and he fully remembered how they'd got like this. He smiled kissing the top of her head, holding her more tightly in his arms knowing she'd still be there when he woke up again in like five hours time. He breathed in the sweet scent of her hair, happy that she hadn't avoided everything a second time. He closed his eyes again and went back to sleep

XxX

#Hey brother, there's an endless road to rediscover…# Kate's alarm sang. She groaned, she really had to stop setting the radio to wake her up because she always ended up with a different song stuck in her head all day. Half asleep she glared at her alarm. "Why are you going off?" She asked it.

"Are you talking to your alarm?"

She jumped slightly looking over her shoulder. "That's something you'll need to get used to…" She mumbled before turning off her alarm and falling back on the bed. "I fall out with things that wake me up…"

He laughed "I gathered that…"

"We best get up…" She rubbed her eyes.

Jake made no attempt to move and she stared at him for a second.

"Has anyone ever told you you're annoying?" She asked tilting her head slightly.

He sat up. "You, Alesha did, MIU, most the CPS…there's probably more…"

She smiled "come on sleeping beauty…" She managed to drag him (unwillingly) out of bed and they both got ready for work.


	6. You know this isn't over, right?

**AN: You would not believe the last two days I've had. Went to school yesterday only to end up in the medical room after being there what twenty minutes? I hadn't even had AM registration. OMG i was all on for passing out, all dignity out the window there. And my so called best friend just stood there laughing at me! And whilst I'm laid on this bed the 'nurse' (who's about as qualified as me) sat reading her emails LAUGHING at them not even checking to see if i had passed out! Anyway so with some help from the for mentioned friend i finished this chapter (anything wrong with this or anything that's weird) is her fault because she'd wrote half of this . xx**

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As they walked to work Kate had one headphone in, only half listening to what Jake was saying about the case. She was so focused on the song she was listening to she zoned out completely.

"Kate…" Jake said before he noticed her headphones. "You're not listening to me are you?"

He stopped and subconsciously she stopped too. He pulled her headphone out her ear making her look up. "Huh, sorry?" She asked.

He laughed, "Honestly trying to have a conversation with you this early is like talking to a revolving door."

She bit her and smiled. "Sorry." She gave him puppy dog eyes making him roll his putting his hand on her cheek.

"You're forgiven, beautiful." He kissed her gently. "Did you hear any of what I was saying?"

"Erm…"

"No then." He laughed putting his hand on the small of her back as they started walking again. "What were you listening to?"

"Something my seventeen year old cousin downloaded…"

"What song?"

"Everything has changed." She smirked slightly wondering why she ever let her cousin use her phone when she was bored.

"Taylor Swift?"

"I had it on shuffle ok." She mock cried onto his shoulder trying not to laugh as she did so.

He laughed kissing the top of her head as they carried on their journey to the office.

XxX

"What do you think?" Jake asked her as they stood re-watching the interview on the screen.

"I'm not sure…" She shook her head.

"Does he look like a killer to you?"

"Everyone looks like a killer to me." She smirked.

"Do I look like a killer to you?" He took a step closer towards her.

"Yes, you kill my patience."

"Funny."

"Who said I was joking?" She asked before laughing slightly. "Not but seriously, everyone's capable of murder…"

"Are you?" He raised his eyebrows continuing their playful back and forth banter.

"You annoy me anymore and we'll find out."

"What have I missed?" Henry asked walking in not questioning why the two of them were stood so close together.

"Kate's threatening to kill me." Jake told him earning him a light punch in the arm.

"Am I 'eck as like" She groaned letting her accent slip in.

"So take her to court." Henry said with a small smile. "I meant on the case."

"Not sure." Kate told him, she'd decided to work the case after all. She was a lot calmer thanks to Jake. "We might have to get Ronnie to do some more digging because at the moment we've not got enough to prove beyond reasonable doubt."

Henry nodded before leaving again.

"I'll see you court then Miss Barker." Jake smirked and she glared at him before rolling her eyes.

"Jacob…" She shook her head. "In the time we've spent _against_ each other in court already you've lost what…100% of the time, what makes you think it'll change now?"

"Touché, Katherine."

She smiled before they went back to watching the interview.

XxX

Kate opened the door at her Nan's house, seeing as she hadn't seen her Nan for a few days now she thought she'd better stop to see her before her and Jake joined the rest of the group for a drink.

"Nanna!" She called maybe a little too loud.

Jake laughed at Kate despite feeling slightly unnerved at meeting Kate's Nan.

"Kitchen!" Her Nan called back and he followed Kate through one of the doors.

Her Nan stood by the kettle "Must have sensed you were coming, Kathy." She smiled giving her granddaughter a hug. "Who's this?"

"This is…" Before Kate could finish she was cut off.

"Let me guess, tall, dark hair, suit, good looking. You must be Jake, Kathy's told me a lot about you." She smiled shaking Jake's hand.

Jake could see that Kate was mentally face palming herself. "I'd love to hear what…"

"Never said they were nice things, son." Her Nan joked and he was left wondering what Kate had been saying whilst she helped the older woman make coffee for them all.

Sat in the living room Jake noticed a photo; it was clearly of Kate as a teenager. Her Nan caught him looking. "You know, Jake…" She started and Kate could feel one of her Nanna's famous 'when Kathy was a kid' stories coming on and prepared herself for the embarrassment. "When Kathy was a kid she was like ten times more crazy and disorganized than she is now. Always in trouble."

"When?" Kate asked.

"The time you blew the science lab at school."

"I've apologized for that." Kate looked down seeing Jake's expression.

"Then there was the time when you were in year nine and…"

"I don't think he needs to know this…" Kate cut her off knowing where this was going.

"Oh I think he does." Jake smirked and she glared at him making him laugh.

"You'll have to excuse her, Jake; she doesn't like being center of attention."

Kate cringed putting her hand to her forehead trying to come up with a reason that meant they had to leave straight away. "Can we change subject from me please?"

Jake laughed, this was not over.


	7. Hold onto what you've got

**AN: Sorry for late update (rhymed...) but i've had like no internet and i had to rewrite this chapter about seven times and once again i'm still not happy with it. lol. But anyway i decided i couldn't rewrite it again so here you go. (you meet another family member of Kate's in this chapter :) bit weird but bare with me) x**

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After telling her Nan that they had to go or they'll be late they'd left, Kate trying her hardest to hide her embarrassment and Jake trying his hardest not to laugh.

"Shut up." Kate said as they walked towards the pub.

"I haven't said anything!" He argued.

"No but you were thinking."

He stopped wrapping his arms around her. "Come on, beautiful, you know you love me really."

She scoffed. "Unfortunately."

The two laughed before they continued walking.

"I love your Nan she'd hilarious…"

"Bloody embarrassing." She grumbled making him laugh again.

"She was just saying she was proud of you."

"After she'd said the whole blowing up stuff thing…"

"What was it you stopped her from telling me?" He asked,

"Oh no." She shook her head. "I ain't tellin' ya that yet."

He raised his eye brows.

"I don't tell you everything you know, Jake. Not ready for you to know everything just yet."

He smiled. "And that's ok."

She smiled back as he kissed her before they opened the door to the pub and went inside.

XxX

"And in they walk. The deadly duo." Henry chuckled to himself as Kate and Jake sat beside each other across from Ronnie and Wes.

"We're not that bad." Kate said taking her bag off.

"You threatened to kill him earlier."

Wes and Ronnie looked at her confused. "That's not what I said." She argued. "Anyway, I couldn't kill him, who would I argue with?"

"See Jake? She'd miss you." Ronnie joked.

"Meh." Kate laughed before putting her hand on top of Jake's when he gave a fake offended look. "I'm joking."

As she withdrew her hand the others didn't fail to miss the look between them but no one mentioned it as they looked at each other.

After a few drinks and a long discussion with Henry about something no one else understood Kate's phone rang.

"Excuse me a second." She got up from the table and went to answer it.

Jake watched her leave before breaking up an argument between Henry and Wes over some case he'd never heard of.

A few minutes later Kate came back to the table looking confused.

"Kate?" Jake said concerned. He stood putting his hand on her arm. "Kate, what is it? What's wrong?"

"It's my cousin, Ashleigh…she's been taken to hospital."

"Why?" Ronnie asked.

"She's had an accident at her Dance lesson…" she paused. "I should to go…"

Jake nodded. "I'll go with you." He said quietly leading her out of the pub his hand still gently resting on her arm.

"Is something going on between them two?" Wes asked once they'd left.

Henry shrugged. "I'm not sure, but right now I think there are other things to be thinking about. Did you know she had a cousin?" He asked Ronnie.

Ronnie nodded. "Ashleigh yeah. She's about seventeen; Kate mentioned she wanted to become a lawyer or something once."

XxX

Arriving at the hospital Kate and Jake were led down one of those endless corridors before reaching the room her cousin was in

"Is she ok?" Kate asked the doctor.

"Dazed slightly, she's fine to leave though, she only jolted her ankle."

"Thank god." Kate sighed with relief, "If she'd broken it we'd all know about it."

The doctor chuckled lightly letting them through.

Walking into the room Ashleigh was sat on the bed with a lad sat in a chair beside her. "Now Kathy before you start I can promise you it was all his fault." Ashleigh laughed slightly pointing to the boy who was probably the same age as her.

Kate smirked. "What happened?"

"He dropped me that's what happened."

"I didn't drop you I simply misjudged the lift." He argued. "You alright, Kate?"

"Fine thanks Logan." Kate nodded thankful someone still called her Kate. "How do you feel?" She asked Ashleigh.

"Like I've been dropped."

Jake smiled to himself watching Kate with her cousin as Ash argued that Logan could've killed her. He had done when he'd seen her with her Nan. She didn't have much family but the family she did have she kept close to her. He'd heard her talk about Ashleigh before; she had said she was taking her A levels in performing arts, law and psychology but she hadn't told him much else.

"Who's ya mate?" Ashleigh asked looking over at Jake.

"Oh yeah, Ash, Logan, this is Jake. Jake this is Ash and her boyfriend Logan." Kate introduced them.

"You Kathy's boyfriend?" Ash questioned raising an eyebrow at her cousin wondering why she hadn't been informed. "Hope you know what you're getting yourself into. We Barker's are pretty mental."

"Scatty, frustrating, annoying, irritating…" Logan added before Ash and Kate glared at him. "And clever and beautiful did I mention those?"

Ash rolled her eyes and Kate laughed. Jake simply nodded at Logan. Kate definitely was all the things he'd just listed.


	8. Hidden Secrets

**AN: I'm starting to slip with this updating! Sorry again. Ugh I sound like a stuck record. Having a really bad day so sorry for any mistakes and stuff. Thanks for reading, please continue to review. It kind of gets strange and dark from here for a bit but remember it's called 'sometimes it hurts'. x**

* * *

It was a week or so later when the irritating pre-set apple ringtone woke him up. Annoyed, Jake rolled over in bed not bothering to check his caller ID before answering as the bright screen of his phone hurt his eyes.

"Hello..." He answered half asleep. hearing Henry's voice on the other end only added to his annoyance. "Huh? Who? No, I'll erm...call her. Ok." he hung up before looking to is left where an equally half asleep Kate was propped up on one elbow.

"What's going off?" She asked her brain not being able to string too many words together.

"That was Henry, there's a man on the roof of the CPS saying he'll throw himself off unless he speaks to us..." Jake told her as he got out of bed.

"Who is he?" She questioned, slowly dragging herself from the warmth of the sheets.

"They don't know, but Ronnie called him, he called me and I'm meant to be calling you." He gave a small smile before they both got dressed and left for the office.

Xxx

Walking up to the roof with Ronnie leading and henry walking behind was unnerving for the both of them.

Ronnie stopped in his tracks in front of the door. "Now I may not be a psychologist but I don't think this guy is what he seems..."

"What do you mean?" Henry asked, he'd not spoken to the guy yet and was as in the dark and Jake and Kate.

"He just doesn't seem like a jumper. Like he's got something else planned. I don't know why he wants to speak to you two, maybe you can find that out yourselves. But I think you should be careful, he seems aggravated about something..."

The two of them nodded and Ronnie opened the door letting them through and Henry and himself followed them.

The frozen air cut into their skin, the wind making Kate's eyes water. The moment she saw the man's face she lost her breath. Henry did too. Jake and Ronnie however had no idea on who this man was. He was a tall man probably in his mid to late forties with dark hair. He had a scar on the right side of his face and wore a long dark coat.

"Silverman." She said in shock.

"Miss Barker." he gave a smug look. "How delightful to see you."

"You'll understand I do not share the pleasure." Kate spoke in a cold tone but Jake could hear the tremor in her voice. He hadn't heard it many times before but he knew what it meant. It meant she was scared.

"Who is he?" He asked her.

"Eric Silverman, an old client..." Kate replied. "What do you want?"

"How are you, Miss Barker?" His voice would make anyone's skin crawl.

"Recovered. What do you want? You're not here to kill yourself, you love yourself too much to do that."

"Only way I could get to see you." he paused. "You see, Miss Barker, I'm dying. I don't have very long left. Before I go I wanted to see your face one last time, I wanted to people who love you to know what I did, I want them to know what you are."

"Why? What did I ever do to you? We lost the trial because you were guilty!"

"Maybe you just weren't good enough. Isn't that what your daddy used to say."

"Don't bring him into this." Kate shook her head. "Haven't you done enough damage?"

"Obviously not."

"Kate, what did he do?" Jake reached for her arm.

"Go on then _Kate_ what are you afraid of?"

"Shut up." She snapped.

Silverman reached into his inside pocket producing a gun. He pointed it at her. "Tell him."

She swallowed. She didn't want to tell him, she'd spent so long trying to put everything behind her, to pretend it didn't happen. "He tried to kill me." She said. "After we lost the trial he pushed me down the stair at the courthouse. Putting me in a coma for two months."

Silverman laughed. "We know that's not all that happened though. Don't we?"

"I left defence and became a prosecutor." She still wasn't saying everything.

"The CPS employed someone who was mad!"

"I was ill! And I recovered before returning to work."

He thought a moment, "How's that sister of yours?"

Kate went to lunge forward but Silverman moved backwards. He jumped as Jake grabbed Kate pulling her back. Silverman fell. he hit the ground. he was gone.


	9. Drowned

**AN: two chapters in one day xx**

* * *

_Everything just seemed to stop, seemed to be running in slow motion. She heard nothing, everything sounded like she was drowning. You know the feeling. When your in the bath or the pool and you dip your head under the water and suddenly the only sound is the blood pounding in your ears. Your body screaming at you to breath. She didn't know when they'd walked from the roof down to the streets below, she didn't even notice when a paramedic placed a shock blanket over her shoulders. She was so lost in her own mind she felt like everyone around her was moving whilst she stood still. _

A hand slipping into her own pulled her out of her own mind. It was Jake and even though he had do many questions he said nothing. He simply sat beside her holding her hand comfortingly stopping her from trembling. After a minuet she fully took in he was there she rested her head against his shoulder and her put his arm around her.

"I'm sorry..." She whispered after a further few minuets.

"What for?" He asked.

"For everything, for not telling you about Silverman and my accident. I should've…said something...should've controlled myself more."

"This wasn't your fault, Kate." He told her. "You didn't have to tell me anything you didn't want to."

She looked up at him "Silverman just killed himself...he was ill and I pushed him into it."

"That's not what happened. Anyway, he'd already tried to kill you once before. He was mad then and even sicker now. This wasn't your fault."

She looked down then back at him. "I...I tried so hard to forget."

He held her tighter in his arms. "You can tell me anything, you know that right? I'm always going to be here for you."

She nodded against his chest. "I know...it's just at the time...Ash was fifteen...she'd already lost both her parents, her mum to illness when she was three months old and her Dad in a blast in Afghanistan...I tried so hard to keep it together, for her, for Nan. For Beth if she was ever to come back..."

He sighed, she would always worry about everyone else before she worried about herself. He kissed her forehead "I don't blame you. You didn't do anything wrong."

She buried her head shutting her eyes. Sometimes it hurt, a lot.


	10. Recovery

AN: Short chapter because I've hurt my wrist and my laptops going mental not letting me do anything!

* * *

Waking with a start Kate ran her hand through her hair. She tried to normalize her breathing whilst trying to push all thoughts of her nightmare out of her mind. But he was still there. At the back of her mind Silverman was still lurking. It was two weeks since he threw himself off the roof of the CPS building and slowly she was getting back to normal. Then she'd have a nightmare putting her in a state. Everyone told her it was natural, but she didn't like. She just wanted him gone for good. She thought after he'd tried to kill her she'd never have to see or think about him again.

After a few minutes she laid back down on her side on the bed. She closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep, her heart beat still thudding against his chest.

An arm slipped around her stomach. "Go back to sleep…" He whispered softly before he pressed his lips on her shoulder. She smiled to herself; Jake was always there for her.

XxX

"You look like a lass wishing she was somewhere else…" Ronnie said pulling Kate from the daydream she'd been lost in. She was sat at her desk; Jake was fetching something for Henry so she was on her own.

'Sorry, own world." She gave a small smile. "Can I help with anything?"

"Just dropping something off." He replied. "How are you?"

"Oh you know…recovering I guess…"

He nodded thinking what to say next. "How's Jake?"

"He's fine."

"Good…"

She sighed biting her lip. "Whatever the question is Ronnie let's get it out in the open."

He laughed. "Can't hide anything from a lawyer."

"Or a detective if I remember rightly." She laughed back. "Come on, I know you're not the only one dying to ask."

"Ask what?" He carried on playing innocent.

"Is there something going on between me and Jake?"

"Oh that…"

She laughed again rolling her eyes. "For the record, the answer is yes."

He smiled. "I think we all saw it coming to be honest, luv'."

"I didn't…"She looked down at her hands before looking back at him.

"I erm…Henry told me, about your sister. I'm sorry…"

She shook her head. "You helped me find her. I tried to help her but she wasn't having it. Not that I really expected her to. She's a Barker; we don't give up anything that easily. Her downfall was the drugs…mine was my job."

"Was?"

"When Silverman tried to kill me, Ronnie…I woke up from my coma a different person. For years I'd spent my life just doing what I was told, it's how I became a defense barrister, how I ended up defending him. Afterwards I learned to think for myself, I had other people to be worrying about, My Nan and Ash. They needed me and I needed them. I couldn't waste any more time doing something I didn't want to…as if my conscience wasn't guilty enough."

He smiled again "I best be off, but tell Jake if he doesn't look after you he'll have a lot of angry detectives after him."

"Who will all get away with murder because they know how?" She smirked.

He laughed nodding which was when Jake walked into the office.

"Speak of the devil."

"Huh?" Jake asked.

"Nothing." Kate shook her head.

"Bye." Ronnie then left as Kate walked over to a very confused looking Jake.

"What was that about?"

"Just Ronnie being Ronnie." She said standing in front of him.

Satisfied with her answer he put his hand on her arm stroking it with his thumb before kissing her cheek. "I'll find out later."

She laughed. "Whatever."


	11. Never let go

AN: technology still being a pain sorry for any mistakes and suff lol. Can't wait for tomorrow's episode! Thanks. - It was getting late and Kate and Jake were still in the office. Jake was sat at his desk going over some files whilst Kate was sat on the sofa in the corner her head propped up on her elbow and her knees tucked into her slightly. Jake got up and walked over to her before sitting on the other sofa across from her. He waited a second seeing she had her eyes shut before speaking. "You asleep?" She gave a small laugh "no chance." She opened her eyes stretching slightly. " I kept thinking about Bracken." She referred to the case. "I keep getting the feeling we're making a mistake. He wanted Ayesha to be happy, he wanted to protect her, there was no violence there...why would he kill her? He loved her..." "Love can make us do stupid things." He said quietly. She smiled. "When did you become a sentimental?" "When did you start doubting your instincts?" "Touché." She yawned. She looked at her watch. "I better be going, Ash is singing somewhere..." She rubbed her eyes getting to her feet. She grabbed her coat before walking back over to him. She wrapped her arms around him from behind. "You coming." "Just need to brief his lordship on what we've got first." He replied. "Ok." She kissed the side of his face. "See ya." He watched her go before getting to his feet collecting the files and knocking on the door of Henry's office. XxX "#Thats enough for now. I would've never left you broken, I would've held you. Things your father never told. That's enough for. He never wanted to leave you broken, he would've held you. Things your father never could do...#" Kate clapped from the bar as Ashleigh finished her song and turned to her friends to get ready for the next one. It always made her smile when the teenager sung or danced. "Hey." A voice said quietly as arms were wrapped around her waist. "Hey." She smiled. He kissed her neck. "What have I missed?" "Not much." She turned in his arms. "You escaped Henry then?" He laughed. "Ugh. He does like to drone on..." "And on." He kissed her lips and she smiled, it only recently hit her just how much had happened in such a short amount of time, so many things going through her mind and through it all, Jake had been there. "Thank you." "What for?" She thought a second. "Standing by me...after..." "Always." He kissed her again stroking her cheek before pulling her into his arms. They both looked to where Ashleigh was as the intro to the next song started playing. "#Every time our eyes meet. This feeling inside me. Is almost more than I can take. Baby when you touch me, I can feel how much you love me And it just blows me away I've never been this close to anyone or anything I can hear your thoughts I can see your dreams… I don't know how you do what you do I'm so in love with you It just keeps getting better I wanna spend the rest of my life With you by my side Forever and ever Every little thing that you do Baby I'm amazed by you#." Jake kissed the top of Kate's head as he held her in his arms. He wouldn't let her go. Not after everything. When he looked at her he saw someone who had fought so hard for so long. Someone who's battles were almost over. Her recovery, almost over. Ashleigh, despite the lighting that was blinding her, looked over to where they were, smiling to herself. She'd chosen that song as much for them as herself. It was what her dad had sung to her when she was little...but maybe now it had a different meaning. In her mind anyway. She'd seen Kate do so much, but never once in all her life had Kate willingly let her see her cry. There was only the times when Ash lived with their Nan and Kate was there too. Kate would have a nightmare about something. Her dad. Beth. Silverman. Death. Something that would scare her. Then she would crawl into bed beside her cousin. The feeling that she wasn't alone helping her go back to sleep. Once her performance was done she half walked half skipped over to them. "Hey." "Nice work, baby girl." Kate smiled. "Well done." Jake nodded, his arm still around Kate. "Thanks..." Ash smiled, she knew just how much Jake cared for her cousin. Kate went to get herself a drink leaving Ash and Jake stood together. "Jake, can I say something?" "Sure, what is it?" "Nothing, just I hope you know that if you hurt my cousin in anyway..." Her eyes narrowed "Just remember that, that Chica tells me everything. I hear something I don't like and we'll be having..." She punched the palm of her hand with her fist. "Words." Neither noticed Kate come back ad Jake laughed slightly. "I'm not going to hurt her, Ashleigh. I love her..." Kate cleared her throat. "Words?" She questioned. "How did you get an A level in psychology?" "Same way you did law, Kathy. Answered yes to everything on the exam." She joked. Kate rolled her eyes taking a sip from her drink as Jake put his arm around her. The fact Jake had looked honestly scared almost made her want to laugh, but she contained herself as they all started talking about other things. 


	12. Demons tamed

**An; So, this is the final chapter because well I've really dragged this one out lol. I want to thank everyone who read this story because its a lot more than I expected. I thought this would be a one shot and it kind of turned into a 12 shot. Thanks xxxx I'll be back with a new story soon**

* * *

"I?" He asked looking at the sheet of paper in front of them.

"Nope." She drew a line. The defence barrister they were meant to be meeting was nearly an hour late and they'd soon got bored and had resorted in playing hangman.

"S?"

"Nope." She drew another line.

"Can I ask if its actually something in this room?" He raised his eyebrows. Knowing her she'd probably picked something stupid like a Zebra or something.

"Yes, it's in this room."

His eyes scanned the room before looking back at the sheet counting how many letters the word was.

"Do you give up?" She tilted her head slightly and smiled knowing she was winning.

Just as he was about to say something the barrister they'd been waiting for walked in, not apologising for being late they started firing off all sorts which they both ignored knowing it was all crap and the man they were prosecuting was guilty.

"If you're not accepting the plea, then we'll be seeing you in court." They smiled smugly before getting up and leaving.

Kate glared annoyed at the back of their head as they left making Jake hold back any laughter. They both knew that it was going to be a difficult trial. Gathering their stuff they got up to leave.

"So what was it?" Jake asked her as they walked into their office.

"Huh?"

"Your word?"

"Oh." She sat down at her desk. "Photograph. How did you not guess that?"

" I don't know." He sighed shaking his head before sitting down at his own desk. He watched her get annoyed at her computer for a few minutes before getting on with his own work; best he could anyway with Henry interrupting them every ten or so minutes saying how 'they had to accept the plea to manslaughter. Though he and Kate both agreed to ignore his advice and go to trial.

XxX

It was late when Jake got home. Tired he went up stairs, got changed and almost crawled into bed. He pulled the already sleeping blonde closer to him.

"How did he take it?" She asked half asleep. She hadn't stuck around to see what Henry thought of them not accepting the plea.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" He asked stroking her skin.

"No..." She shook her head slightly. "Couldn't sleep anyway."

He kissed the back of her neck. "Try."

She rolled over to face him. "I did."

He laughed slightly. "Why don't I believe you?" He tucked a lock of blonde hair behind her ear.

"Dunno." She smiled and he kissed her lips.

"I love you..." He whispered.

"Always." She then rested her head on his chest and slowly drifted off into a light sleep; Jake not even closing his eyes till she'd nodded off. Then he went to sleep himself, listening to the sound of her breathe, knowing she was safe. The feeling he loved. Her in his arms. Knowing the demons in her mind were tame when he was around, when she was happy. He wanted her to always be happy. After everything she'd been through god knows she deserved it.

She was so peaceful. It had been a hell of a last 6 or so months. Beth. Her parents. Silverman. There were times when he'd look at her and just seemed so lost but the amount of times he looked at her and shed be smiling or laughing at something he or her cousin or well anyone said outnumbered it by a mile.

Sometimes life hurts. It's not something that you should hide. Think of your problems as a glass of water. If you hold it too long you go numb as things feel heavier...remember to put the glass down. Kate knew this now. And...it didn't hurt so bad anymore.


End file.
